Have you ever laughed and then realized you can't remember the last time you really laughed?
Have you ever woken in the middle of the night with tears streaming down your face?
Have you ever layed in bed sobbing, as you're unable to pinpoint the exact moment your life went wrong?
Have you ever thought so hard about what you did to make yourself this unlovable?
Have you ever stared out into the darkness, just hoping it would swallow you up?
Have you ever wished on every star, 11:11, birthday candle, or wishing well penny that you would finally find your soul mate, so you don't feel so alone anymore?
Have you ever?
Have you?
Because I h
"I don't know"
Is what comes out
When you ask me to try
Because
I still love you
And
I don't know why.
Bc with you
I knew who I was,
And every moment
We shared together
Was like nothing I'd ever felt
But this;
This is why
I keep to myself
This is why
I don't talk to guys
This is why
I don't go out.
Because I make
the wrong choice,
The bad choice,
The choice that seems
Every bit exciting,
But leaves me sighing,
Crying
So torn up inside,
I feel like dying.
Because today
You stood me up
Today
you left me hanging
Today
you made me the fool
Today
You didn't respond,
But in spite of your actions
I became
stronger
I became
wiser
I be
Heart still beats
When I'm alone.
I don't need you,
But yet, you feel like home.
Same silly song
Running through my head;
It's the last thing you played
Before you were dead.
See, last night I came home
And found you here,
But alone you were not,
Even though you called me dear.
I pulled the trigger,
With tears in my eyes,
"Why her?" I asked you,
As I watched you die.
This is who I am
It's what I do
I love people
Until they no longer need me
And then I love them until they drop me
Where Once again
I'm left, alone, to pick up all the broken pieces that scatter across the linoleum,
But still I love; like I've never been broken
And still, I hold on
Like I've never been let go
Bc this is what I do
It's who I am
All I've ever wanted was to be loved.
On my good days & bad,
Whether I'm happy or sad
To know that everything's going to be ok
That I'm not alone
In this world of twisting words of what's been heard
To have that one hand to hold
Until my Grave is laid out before me
When you'll no longer control me
And God accepts me,
To be part of His kingdom
I beg and I pray
That tomorrow will be better
That these tear stained cheeks
Finally dry and a smile once again
Envelopes them.